by: Steven Ilchev
============================================
It is imperative that one's grammar skills are continuously enhanced and for that one ought to adopt a meticulous approach to studying English grammar's myriad subtleties. The sophistication of the English language knows no bounds: from phrasal verbs to exceptional idioms; from Present Perfect Tense right through to Future Perfect in the Past Tense there is a spellbinding deal of linguistic versatility to absorb that a mental entanglement in a web of discombobulation might actually set in before one has even commenced the process of grammatical semi-comprehension.
Getting to grips with the significance of parts and figures of speech is a daunting task that needs relentless facilitating. Being able to pinpoint a metaphor, a personification, an oxymoron, or a paradox might seem irrelevant but it actually forms a highly definitive part of one's linguistic enrichment.
The English language is versatile and boasts the most spellbinding wealth - the vastest vocabulary and unending exceptions to grammatical rules that make it the most literary-pulsating language ever which has led to the likes of Shakespeare, Dylan Thomas, Coleridge, D.H. Lawrence et al becoming the language's revered apostles not just on English shores but on a global scale to the point that they have shaped up important philosophical streaks. That is the intangible power of language - the manner in which its speakers and writers alike use it in order to enchant and seduce... and somehow heal the inner pain and monotony of their bedazzled audience.
Many students of English find a lot of literature's fascinating aspects too hot to handle, to use a form of colloquialism. That is why relating literary trends to them as well as the core relevance thereof in their lives is a monumental task at times but one cannot doubt the imprint that the likes of say Dickens, Chaucer or Sir Walter Scott have left behind in the grand overall context of our lives. Students need a refreshing perspective from various sources and a tutor's primary task is to encourage the freedom of thought within their tuition groups by illuminating a vision that resonates wildly, so to speak, with every listener who needs guidance!
English spelling is a manifestation of this exquisite language's taste for exceptions hence the tumultuous difficulties experienced by a large number of our country's pupils in that department. There is also the element of textspeak that has crept up into our daily lives as well as the gangster/'hood mania that has created an illusionary 'cool factor' among an impressionable sector of our society. All of that needs to be countered via a concerted campaign emphasising that correct spelling is vital for the country's future prosperity.
Language evolves and English is so blessed with its tremendous classic apostles and the catchy and undoubtedly enriching accents and dialects that abound. They have contributed immensely to global literature by adding mesmerising nuances to the appeal of the language over the years. It is indeed vital that we hold onto that without losing sightof the existing parasite sources that do cripple our country's younger generations' linguistic abilities. The oversimplification of our Curriculum, particularly as far as grammar is concerned, is unspeakably detrimental and needs immediate addressing.
Wednesday 21 October 2009
To England's 'Eart Of Bindin' 'Earts
by: Steven Ilchev, 2009
******************************************************
O England, thou every bit of scenic solace
for thy roarin' fans!
I thee carry sounder than a jinglin' pound...
in me 'eart of mellow 'earts
And on me sleeve with ample swagger
signifying Treasure Island's trinkets'
fading avarice-appeal,
I'm staggered!
O England I thee adore,
for thee I'd haemorrhage profusely
like a panther
Down but ne'er out beside peace-propagating
standing stones
and stone circles' whis'prin' yet arousin'
tendencies, remarkable!
England, England bind our 'earts,
let them not disperse like wingless darts
as flags blood-red and flashy white
levitate not so discreetly on our
horizons multiplied!
******************************************************
O England, thou every bit of scenic solace
for thy roarin' fans!
I thee carry sounder than a jinglin' pound...
in me 'eart of mellow 'earts
And on me sleeve with ample swagger
signifying Treasure Island's trinkets'
fading avarice-appeal,
I'm staggered!
O England I thee adore,
for thee I'd haemorrhage profusely
like a panther
Down but ne'er out beside peace-propagating
standing stones
and stone circles' whis'prin' yet arousin'
tendencies, remarkable!
England, England bind our 'earts,
let them not disperse like wingless darts
as flags blood-red and flashy white
levitate not so discreetly on our
horizons multiplied!
The Despicable Axe Murder In Huyton, Merseyside
by: Steven Ilchev, 2005
------------------------------------------------
As if Ken Bigley, Michael Shields and the twentieth anniversary of the Heysel tragedy were not sufficiently distressing for the effervescent, quite Celtic in its character European Capital of Culture'2008, the City of Liverpool had to be befallen by a brutal, racially-motivated axe murder in Huyton.
A half-decent heart of hearts breaks for the family of slain teenager Anthony Walker who has become the victim of a slim minority of ostracised scally-wags in The 'Pool who firmly believe that they should take it upon themselves to rescue the so-called "whiteness" of the population on this island. These lowlife excuses for humanity have desecrated a fellow human being's life that did them no harm. They just couldn't get over how a person of colour that is the antithesis to white could walk hand in hand with a gorgeous white bird in Huyton. Therefore, the imbeciles had to "rectify" the situation and slaughtered one of their own.
Now, the Walker family who are devout Christians have expressed forgiveness to these profane monsters who tried to strip their 18-year old son of all his dignity in a totally barbaric way. Is that how we show patriotism in the wake of 7/7 and 21/7, I hereby ask? Is that how we'll contribute towards making "Enger-land, Enger-land" a brighter spot for us all? No, me fellow outcast whites! This is sadly how we continue to justify the hatred for our very existence that is so widespread throughout the so-called Third World. This is a time when any person with a grain of morality can stand up and denounce this "white" behaviour. It is uncivilised and we whites have got to emphasise that point. No ifs, no buts! It is cardinally sick and the perpetrators of this crime are sickness personified and don't kid yourself. Their conduct is no more excusable than that of the terrorists who use jihad as their argument for grilling humans like kebabs all over the capital.
The Huyton axe murder has left the author in a daze. The heart of the message radiating from the "Ferry 'Cross The Mersey" lyricism has been uncompromisingly butchered by political slavery manifesting itself in disastrous emotions that have cut very short the life of a budding gent. This is not a moment for calm at all. This is a moment for assertion. We have to ostracise bigots and extremists of that ilk irrespective of allegiance, be it Al-Qaeda or White Nationalism. No amount of stereotyping and quests for justification of narrow-minded inflated hatred for our fellow man will bring back those who perished on 7/7 and none of that will cure the illness that is torturing our society. It will deepen it.
No, naivety will not be the answer and tough and resolute we have to be but fairness has always been a hallmark of this great society of ours which through literature as well as magnificent heritage sites has given us plenty to be proud of. The resolve of our amazing society was summarised by Anthony Walker's grieving family who with their dignity intact were a credit to the nation and their community as they articulated their words on Sky News. One is not at all certain how many would have had the strength to behave in that manner, especially so soon, after their beloved offspring had been so senselessly snuffed out. The author can point out oh so many who would be baying for blood.
Although the author does not identify with the Christian faith, it appears that Christianity plays a pivotal role in the surviving Walker family's coping mechanism that one so desperately needs when darkness descends upon one's world. Some find comfort in Christ, others in Mohammed or Buddha and yet others in mere verse, Paganism or good old C2 H5 OH. It is all fine so long as this kind of relationship is a path to the healing hand and not the one that detonates devices that blow us up into oblivion or alternatively arms us with primitive weaponry worthy of our neighbourhoods' local butcheries.
------------------------------------------------
As if Ken Bigley, Michael Shields and the twentieth anniversary of the Heysel tragedy were not sufficiently distressing for the effervescent, quite Celtic in its character European Capital of Culture'2008, the City of Liverpool had to be befallen by a brutal, racially-motivated axe murder in Huyton.
A half-decent heart of hearts breaks for the family of slain teenager Anthony Walker who has become the victim of a slim minority of ostracised scally-wags in The 'Pool who firmly believe that they should take it upon themselves to rescue the so-called "whiteness" of the population on this island. These lowlife excuses for humanity have desecrated a fellow human being's life that did them no harm. They just couldn't get over how a person of colour that is the antithesis to white could walk hand in hand with a gorgeous white bird in Huyton. Therefore, the imbeciles had to "rectify" the situation and slaughtered one of their own.
Now, the Walker family who are devout Christians have expressed forgiveness to these profane monsters who tried to strip their 18-year old son of all his dignity in a totally barbaric way. Is that how we show patriotism in the wake of 7/7 and 21/7, I hereby ask? Is that how we'll contribute towards making "Enger-land, Enger-land" a brighter spot for us all? No, me fellow outcast whites! This is sadly how we continue to justify the hatred for our very existence that is so widespread throughout the so-called Third World. This is a time when any person with a grain of morality can stand up and denounce this "white" behaviour. It is uncivilised and we whites have got to emphasise that point. No ifs, no buts! It is cardinally sick and the perpetrators of this crime are sickness personified and don't kid yourself. Their conduct is no more excusable than that of the terrorists who use jihad as their argument for grilling humans like kebabs all over the capital.
The Huyton axe murder has left the author in a daze. The heart of the message radiating from the "Ferry 'Cross The Mersey" lyricism has been uncompromisingly butchered by political slavery manifesting itself in disastrous emotions that have cut very short the life of a budding gent. This is not a moment for calm at all. This is a moment for assertion. We have to ostracise bigots and extremists of that ilk irrespective of allegiance, be it Al-Qaeda or White Nationalism. No amount of stereotyping and quests for justification of narrow-minded inflated hatred for our fellow man will bring back those who perished on 7/7 and none of that will cure the illness that is torturing our society. It will deepen it.
No, naivety will not be the answer and tough and resolute we have to be but fairness has always been a hallmark of this great society of ours which through literature as well as magnificent heritage sites has given us plenty to be proud of. The resolve of our amazing society was summarised by Anthony Walker's grieving family who with their dignity intact were a credit to the nation and their community as they articulated their words on Sky News. One is not at all certain how many would have had the strength to behave in that manner, especially so soon, after their beloved offspring had been so senselessly snuffed out. The author can point out oh so many who would be baying for blood.
Although the author does not identify with the Christian faith, it appears that Christianity plays a pivotal role in the surviving Walker family's coping mechanism that one so desperately needs when darkness descends upon one's world. Some find comfort in Christ, others in Mohammed or Buddha and yet others in mere verse, Paganism or good old C2 H5 OH. It is all fine so long as this kind of relationship is a path to the healing hand and not the one that detonates devices that blow us up into oblivion or alternatively arms us with primitive weaponry worthy of our neighbourhoods' local butcheries.
POLITIVISION POST NEW LABOUR RELICS' SOCIETY ACCORDING TO A 'BRONTOPOTUMNAL' SCRIBE
by: Steven Ilchev
===================================================
Herewith, a 'brontopotumnal' list of recommendations to eliminate the current state of politi-clutter! New Labour's totally disastrous reign is drawing to a close and who knows what awaits around the corner. Surely, it cannot be as bad but I doubt pretty much that it would be as decisive and brilliant as the the inspirational Thatcherite strategies for national rebuilding. Sadly, the present-day Conservative Party is only a pale shadow to the great visionary Margaret Hilda Roberts-Thatcher who, through sheer lateral thinking, rescued a wretched economic sinking ship only to be vilified by the unenlightened Socialist factions that have no respect for a supreme English lady.
There are solutions today and one ought to familiarise oneself with them. These solutions are emblazoned in the English Democrats Party's mission statement. Cast a ballot for them if you really long to celebrate St. George's Day (also The Bard's birthday) the way it should be celebrated. Unequivocally solidify your faith in the English Democrats by endorsing their pivotal campaign for a democratically-run English Parliament that is not subservient to either Whitehall or Brussels. If you believe in co-existing with Europeans but not being political or economic bedfellows with an oppressive Soviet-modelled regime administered by their apparatchiks then it is your sacrosanct duty as an Englishwoman (man) to give the English Democrats the mandate that they deserve in order to restore much cherished English etiquette, work ethic, pride, and passion. I do not mean the type of pride and passion that seems only evident at football matches either. The country needs the complete England enthusiast who gazes at standing stones or walks on the coastline and feels that tingly patriotic heartquake so deeply that no ink can paraphrase the throbbing of every muscle within her/his human edifice!
***************************************************************
BRONTOPOTUMNAL RECOMMENDATIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------
Immigration: Bona-fide, hardworking, assimilating migrants are welcome. No asylum-seekers and no admission of anybody who openly worships Islam. In fact, there should be a requirement for Islam followers to relinquish their faith if they wish to reside here. Islam is just not compatible with Western values, full stop! Migrants found to be wiring money to their old countries and family members there will be immediately deported and given life bans. Money earned in England must be spent in England. No conversations in a foreign language will be permitted in public places. English must be spoken by migrants at all times when in public. Failure to comply with that will result in immediate deportation.
Benefits: Completely pulverise welfare and institute a temporary recourse to essentials' coupons for those who fall on hard times. Maximum period of 6 months and proportionate to previous contributions. Essentials' coupons will include H2O, food, gas, electricity, and rent. No monetary 'remuneration' for unemployed people. Chavvy behaviour will be punishable by Siberian exile.
Education: Restore all grammar schools with immediate effect and re-introduce the 11+. Restore polytechnics as well and create a more effective system that distinguishes between poly and uni academic material and people who would be best utilised as trade apprentices. Instill self-reliance in people at an early educational phase in their lives.
Crime: Police to be empowered to deal uncompromisingly with thuggery. A mandatory death sentence for murder and rape. Binge-drinking anti-social behaviour will be afforded zero tolerance. More bobbies on the beat and more police-run community campaigns. No option for parole whatsoever for lifers. Mandatory community service work for anyone who has been unemployed for the maximum permissible period of six months (the above-mentioned coupon-based support system for genuine jobseekers).
NHS: A move towards the American healthcare system is to be encouraged but with capped rates for premiums. Medical insurance revenues will be utilised to combat the growing spread of MRSA infections and there must be a committee set up to oversee the processing of clinical negligence claims that have crippled our healthcare providers and the professionals that they employ. Employers must offer special medical schemes to their employees with reasonable contributions on the employees' part and no red tape for the contributors when they make claims.
Europe: Complete withdrawal from the EU but rejoining the EFTA which keeps good trade relations with European businesses but does not bind us to any unworkable and irrelevant legislature from Euro apparatchiks. Countries such as Norway, Iceland, Liechtenstein, and Switzerland enjoy the same freedoms on their EFTA status as EU member states without having to pay taxes to Brussels.
USA: An ally every step of the way! We must nurture that relationship and treat Americans as our brothers and sisters. We must continue our special economic relationship with the greenback and by the same token snub the Euro completely and encourage other Europeans to distance themselves from the single currency in order to re-establish sovereign European states rather than Brusskies' vassals.
English Parliament: Dissolution of Westminster and Whitehall. The proclamation of an English Parliament, a sovereign English State and 'Jerusalem' as England's anthem. Elections for the office of an English President to be held immediately and St. George's Day to be declared a Special National Holiday with immediate effect. Those who have to work on St. George's Day are to receive quadruple overtime remuneration as per decree.
===================================================
Herewith, a 'brontopotumnal' list of recommendations to eliminate the current state of politi-clutter! New Labour's totally disastrous reign is drawing to a close and who knows what awaits around the corner. Surely, it cannot be as bad but I doubt pretty much that it would be as decisive and brilliant as the the inspirational Thatcherite strategies for national rebuilding. Sadly, the present-day Conservative Party is only a pale shadow to the great visionary Margaret Hilda Roberts-Thatcher who, through sheer lateral thinking, rescued a wretched economic sinking ship only to be vilified by the unenlightened Socialist factions that have no respect for a supreme English lady.
There are solutions today and one ought to familiarise oneself with them. These solutions are emblazoned in the English Democrats Party's mission statement. Cast a ballot for them if you really long to celebrate St. George's Day (also The Bard's birthday) the way it should be celebrated. Unequivocally solidify your faith in the English Democrats by endorsing their pivotal campaign for a democratically-run English Parliament that is not subservient to either Whitehall or Brussels. If you believe in co-existing with Europeans but not being political or economic bedfellows with an oppressive Soviet-modelled regime administered by their apparatchiks then it is your sacrosanct duty as an Englishwoman (man) to give the English Democrats the mandate that they deserve in order to restore much cherished English etiquette, work ethic, pride, and passion. I do not mean the type of pride and passion that seems only evident at football matches either. The country needs the complete England enthusiast who gazes at standing stones or walks on the coastline and feels that tingly patriotic heartquake so deeply that no ink can paraphrase the throbbing of every muscle within her/his human edifice!
***************************************************************
BRONTOPOTUMNAL RECOMMENDATIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------
Immigration: Bona-fide, hardworking, assimilating migrants are welcome. No asylum-seekers and no admission of anybody who openly worships Islam. In fact, there should be a requirement for Islam followers to relinquish their faith if they wish to reside here. Islam is just not compatible with Western values, full stop! Migrants found to be wiring money to their old countries and family members there will be immediately deported and given life bans. Money earned in England must be spent in England. No conversations in a foreign language will be permitted in public places. English must be spoken by migrants at all times when in public. Failure to comply with that will result in immediate deportation.
Benefits: Completely pulverise welfare and institute a temporary recourse to essentials' coupons for those who fall on hard times. Maximum period of 6 months and proportionate to previous contributions. Essentials' coupons will include H2O, food, gas, electricity, and rent. No monetary 'remuneration' for unemployed people. Chavvy behaviour will be punishable by Siberian exile.
Education: Restore all grammar schools with immediate effect and re-introduce the 11+. Restore polytechnics as well and create a more effective system that distinguishes between poly and uni academic material and people who would be best utilised as trade apprentices. Instill self-reliance in people at an early educational phase in their lives.
Crime: Police to be empowered to deal uncompromisingly with thuggery. A mandatory death sentence for murder and rape. Binge-drinking anti-social behaviour will be afforded zero tolerance. More bobbies on the beat and more police-run community campaigns. No option for parole whatsoever for lifers. Mandatory community service work for anyone who has been unemployed for the maximum permissible period of six months (the above-mentioned coupon-based support system for genuine jobseekers).
NHS: A move towards the American healthcare system is to be encouraged but with capped rates for premiums. Medical insurance revenues will be utilised to combat the growing spread of MRSA infections and there must be a committee set up to oversee the processing of clinical negligence claims that have crippled our healthcare providers and the professionals that they employ. Employers must offer special medical schemes to their employees with reasonable contributions on the employees' part and no red tape for the contributors when they make claims.
Europe: Complete withdrawal from the EU but rejoining the EFTA which keeps good trade relations with European businesses but does not bind us to any unworkable and irrelevant legislature from Euro apparatchiks. Countries such as Norway, Iceland, Liechtenstein, and Switzerland enjoy the same freedoms on their EFTA status as EU member states without having to pay taxes to Brussels.
USA: An ally every step of the way! We must nurture that relationship and treat Americans as our brothers and sisters. We must continue our special economic relationship with the greenback and by the same token snub the Euro completely and encourage other Europeans to distance themselves from the single currency in order to re-establish sovereign European states rather than Brusskies' vassals.
English Parliament: Dissolution of Westminster and Whitehall. The proclamation of an English Parliament, a sovereign English State and 'Jerusalem' as England's anthem. Elections for the office of an English President to be held immediately and St. George's Day to be declared a Special National Holiday with immediate effect. Those who have to work on St. George's Day are to receive quadruple overtime remuneration as per decree.
That Geriatric Soldier Of Misfortune, Satanic Reverend EUree Gagged-Arsedin Of Brusskie Land Is A Geopolitical Arm-Rash
by: Steven Ilchev
--------------------------------------------------------
The EU(SSR) is yet another ineffectual, geo-political fallacy intent on mocking years of history that has contributed so much to civilisation. People look after their own homes and not some communal bathroom. Force them into the communal bathroom, and they become even more isolated!
Does one study the history of Europe and think to oneself, 'Such a defining chapter of cultural development!'?... No, because there is NO HISTORY OF EUROPE! Europe has a multitude of great artistically, scientifically, and culturally inspirational nations whose historic annals leave one breathless. Each unique culture can learn so much from the next one and sharing various European customs is always exciting. Do Eurocrats give a flying fig about any of that? No, they force-feed their unwilling subordinates some sort of 'artificial history'.
So, proud English, German, French, Italian, Swedish, and other such whose history avenues are beaming with fascinating illuminations are suddenly reminded by an invasive reptile that is Great-great grandpillock EUree, the big hairy brother that all those years of uniqueness are filth. The bright future is some meaningless blue cloth with an asterix-plagued circle and every policy that emanates from the genie of that Euro-bottle in Brusskie-Land will supercede any previous code of conduct that has become the norm from Galway to Vienna; Stockholm to Naples; Hull to Athens; and Turku to Bratislava. This is no European Union. This is no progress. This is Stalinism of mastodonic proportions and I, for one, would rather be ruled by the Roman Empire. At least its visionaries were true chieftains and not some impractical earnest biro-blowjobbers!
--------------------------------------------------------
The EU(SSR) is yet another ineffectual, geo-political fallacy intent on mocking years of history that has contributed so much to civilisation. People look after their own homes and not some communal bathroom. Force them into the communal bathroom, and they become even more isolated!
Does one study the history of Europe and think to oneself, 'Such a defining chapter of cultural development!'?... No, because there is NO HISTORY OF EUROPE! Europe has a multitude of great artistically, scientifically, and culturally inspirational nations whose historic annals leave one breathless. Each unique culture can learn so much from the next one and sharing various European customs is always exciting. Do Eurocrats give a flying fig about any of that? No, they force-feed their unwilling subordinates some sort of 'artificial history'.
So, proud English, German, French, Italian, Swedish, and other such whose history avenues are beaming with fascinating illuminations are suddenly reminded by an invasive reptile that is Great-great grandpillock EUree, the big hairy brother that all those years of uniqueness are filth. The bright future is some meaningless blue cloth with an asterix-plagued circle and every policy that emanates from the genie of that Euro-bottle in Brusskie-Land will supercede any previous code of conduct that has become the norm from Galway to Vienna; Stockholm to Naples; Hull to Athens; and Turku to Bratislava. This is no European Union. This is no progress. This is Stalinism of mastodonic proportions and I, for one, would rather be ruled by the Roman Empire. At least its visionaries were true chieftains and not some impractical earnest biro-blowjobbers!
The Gorgon Medusa's 21st Century Metamorphosis Revealing England's Unseemly Yet Lacklustre UFO
The Common Man's Browbeaten Frown
***************************************
by: Steven Ilchev, 2009
***************************************
My mind is a porridge
no mortals can eat
for all that we have is a mannequin
Gorgon to greet
Gorgon Hash Brown
the common man's browbeaten frown
the well-knwon blithering fart
the third world's most curious tart
Gorgon Medusa, a creature regaled
a creature once awesome
derided today
how our resolute nippers
who vote Big Bro and ex-fac
have contrived to hell-sink
polti-SUV fleets into glaring cack.
***************************************
by: Steven Ilchev, 2009
***************************************
My mind is a porridge
no mortals can eat
for all that we have is a mannequin
Gorgon to greet
Gorgon Hash Brown
the common man's browbeaten frown
the well-knwon blithering fart
the third world's most curious tart
Gorgon Medusa, a creature regaled
a creature once awesome
derided today
how our resolute nippers
who vote Big Bro and ex-fac
have contrived to hell-sink
polti-SUV fleets into glaring cack.
European Unity Or A Vortex Of Criminal Activities Amounting To Patrio-Cardio Dereliction For The Proud Masses?
by: Steven Ilchev
===============================
It is an affront to every European nation (our glorious England included) to be sold this worthless tripe about European 'unity'. There's as much unity in the Soviet-modelled European Union as there is 'maple-leaf Canada' in the confines of a canal-boat in the scenic Alrewas rills.
Did any of the proud nations within the now defunct USSR ever desire that union? They were feudal vassals to the imperial lordship that was the evil Russian bear. Europe is neither a nation nor a cultural coefficient but a mere geo-political term.
That there are plenty of cultural similarities among all Europeans - far more so than there are between Europeans and non-Europeans - is not seriously disputed by most sober-minded individuals. In fact, co-existence with most ordinary Europeans has never been fraught with extreme difficulties either. However, ask most reasonably intelligent, cultured, responsible, and broad-minded English, German, French, Italian, Danish, Dutch, or Swedish nationals what their stance on the political machinations in Brussels and Strasbourg might be and there will appear to be but somewhat microscopic space available for the maelstrom of four-letter words galore that will go on to whisk even the heaviest leaden object off to 'never-never-seaworld'.
===============================
It is an affront to every European nation (our glorious England included) to be sold this worthless tripe about European 'unity'. There's as much unity in the Soviet-modelled European Union as there is 'maple-leaf Canada' in the confines of a canal-boat in the scenic Alrewas rills.
Did any of the proud nations within the now defunct USSR ever desire that union? They were feudal vassals to the imperial lordship that was the evil Russian bear. Europe is neither a nation nor a cultural coefficient but a mere geo-political term.
That there are plenty of cultural similarities among all Europeans - far more so than there are between Europeans and non-Europeans - is not seriously disputed by most sober-minded individuals. In fact, co-existence with most ordinary Europeans has never been fraught with extreme difficulties either. However, ask most reasonably intelligent, cultured, responsible, and broad-minded English, German, French, Italian, Danish, Dutch, or Swedish nationals what their stance on the political machinations in Brussels and Strasbourg might be and there will appear to be but somewhat microscopic space available for the maelstrom of four-letter words galore that will go on to whisk even the heaviest leaden object off to 'never-never-seaworld'.
I Am The Wettest Dry Cleaner Worth All Of The Meagre Five Shillings... So Why Not Grill Me?
by: Steven Ilchev
----------------------------------------------------
1. Literature is life. Life is Literature. Literally, I might be somewhat alive but figuratively I am much, much more than that! I am a marauding 'wolverscribe brontopratamus'!
2. Cornwall is the Promised Land. Israel is the land of promises. Palestine promises to be a land. Zimbabweans are simply guaranteed a promise to remain blissfully landless.
3. Vati-cunt Shitty might as well be an exotic services off the M25 Motorway for all I care!
4. "Because today is yesterday's tomorrow" is a philosophy I'd rather go without. It would be far more suitable for a glorified one-eyed Scottish idiot, mesqueaks!
5. "Could the people in the cheaper seats please clap your hands... and the rest if you just rattle your jewellery!" was the defining prattle of the swinging sixties' concerted endeavour to bridge a gap between the "classless and free" as they were later derided in immortal verse and the gleefully introverted classy aristocracy-sweat-marinaded bumpkins in palaces, manors and castles alike!
6. If Ol' Big 'Ead were still alive today he'd liken football to a disjointed New Labour Party conference.
7. I miss Neil Fairbrother's revolutionary pinch-hitting. He revitalised the leather and her obliging willow in the pyjama-format of the gentlemen's game.
8. Sir Ian Botham epitomises what a knighthood award is indisputably all about. Give fifteen more to Beefy to atone for all the piss-take ones brandished like confetti to indescribable monstrosities.
9. If you really and truly love England completely and unconditionally then cast your ballot for the party that really stands for all the values that have been cultivated with such diligence for thousands of years unto the soil of this most magnificent, culture-oozing turf, id est THE ENGLISH DEMOCRATS! It's time the voice of England finally acquired a voice rather than cling onto a Westminster-scripted squeak in the park muffled by insidious political correctness. Visit http://www.englishdemocrats.org.uk to learn more.
10. Run a country as though it were a religion and you might as well be joining The French Foreign Legion!
11. Assimilating into a society you have chosen to grace with your presence is a must. Promoting blinding bile and hatred directed at your new microcosm's hosts and their ideologies is blatant insolence on the part of said society's guest. Pandering to and sugar-coating the anti-host attitudes promoted by any ungrateful visitor is a mortal sin on the part of the very powers that administer the welcoming society's day-to-day activities! Prioritise, accept and weed out accordingly - the alpha and omega of fair and effective governance.
12. If Baroness Thatcher did not dare energise her self-styled brand of face-saving brutality during her stint at #10 then the very same brutality would not have hesitated to re-invent itself in the most unprecedented gruesome forms in the not too distant future. We are hereby forever in her debt!
13. That treacherous old git Textspeak would be my first and foremost sodding convict awaiting execution if capital punishment were ever re-instated in Blighty.
14. The despicable act of 'chavving' about aimlessly must be wholeheartedly and unceremoniously stamped out if blessed human dignity is to ever flourish uninhibited again.
15. "There is no such thing as a worthless book though there are some far worse than worthless; no book that is not worth preserving, if its existence may be tolerated; as there may be some men whom it may be proper to hang, but none should be suffered to starve". How prophetic was Samuel Taylor Coleridge back in the day, my 'fellow Romans'? This quote should be as prominent as a neon sign in every classroom of today!
16. If you have never had an occasion to visit Porthcurno in West Cornwall you'd better book a bum on a seat at the Minack open-air theatre and live literally on the edge of a cliff overlooking the most scintillating turquoise watery carpet ever. No theatre could be better situated than this particular one, for all the tea in China!
17. If I were to be a character from any Rafael Sabatini novel I'd most probably be Scaramouche! I'd have to migrate to Captain Blood-land though and woo the deep and thoughtful Arabella. 'Trans-literarism' extraordinaire at work!
18. The decimalisation of our sacrosanct currency was, to put it in the simplest of terms, FUDGING, FUDGING WRONG!
19. Restore every Grammar school and heal this beautiful country's once most enviable... but present-day aggressively carcinogenic grass-roots education system for the wretched masses.
20. All in all, I prefer to strum away sarcastically into the flaming wilderness. Tame as I am!
21. "Slumdog Millionaire"'s sequeal will have to be entitled 'Poshbog Inflationaire' and will star the one-eyed Jock eejit Gorgon Medusa Brown-Sauce Age and Ali Baba Darling.
22. IF MY_COCKEREL.EQ.KIPPER THEN HER_VULVANO.GT.THRUSTATHON+THRUSTATHON+1
23. "Bah, bah shag-o-sheep, avya 'squeezy-fried' me neurotic Peter O'Toole" ought to be the opening line of the most light-hearted slapstick homophobic production ever delivered at The Theatre by the Lake in Keswick, Cumbria.
24. Barracuda Octopusama's successful journey to the White House robbed the political satire circuit of the opportunity to flourish as it was permitted to during the howl-a-minute years of Dubya the 'misunderestimated' official right smack on the tranquil 'Mexico-Canada' border.
25. "Play my flute with a sense of uncontrollable moderation", said Lordy Mandy to a Samba bender who in return gave the Knightsbridge Europhile the Garrincha (sic?) treatment.
----------------------------------------------------
1. Literature is life. Life is Literature. Literally, I might be somewhat alive but figuratively I am much, much more than that! I am a marauding 'wolverscribe brontopratamus'!
2. Cornwall is the Promised Land. Israel is the land of promises. Palestine promises to be a land. Zimbabweans are simply guaranteed a promise to remain blissfully landless.
3. Vati-cunt Shitty might as well be an exotic services off the M25 Motorway for all I care!
4. "Because today is yesterday's tomorrow" is a philosophy I'd rather go without. It would be far more suitable for a glorified one-eyed Scottish idiot, mesqueaks!
5. "Could the people in the cheaper seats please clap your hands... and the rest if you just rattle your jewellery!" was the defining prattle of the swinging sixties' concerted endeavour to bridge a gap between the "classless and free" as they were later derided in immortal verse and the gleefully introverted classy aristocracy-sweat-marinaded bumpkins in palaces, manors and castles alike!
6. If Ol' Big 'Ead were still alive today he'd liken football to a disjointed New Labour Party conference.
7. I miss Neil Fairbrother's revolutionary pinch-hitting. He revitalised the leather and her obliging willow in the pyjama-format of the gentlemen's game.
8. Sir Ian Botham epitomises what a knighthood award is indisputably all about. Give fifteen more to Beefy to atone for all the piss-take ones brandished like confetti to indescribable monstrosities.
9. If you really and truly love England completely and unconditionally then cast your ballot for the party that really stands for all the values that have been cultivated with such diligence for thousands of years unto the soil of this most magnificent, culture-oozing turf, id est THE ENGLISH DEMOCRATS! It's time the voice of England finally acquired a voice rather than cling onto a Westminster-scripted squeak in the park muffled by insidious political correctness. Visit http://www.englishdemocrats.org.uk to learn more.
10. Run a country as though it were a religion and you might as well be joining The French Foreign Legion!
11. Assimilating into a society you have chosen to grace with your presence is a must. Promoting blinding bile and hatred directed at your new microcosm's hosts and their ideologies is blatant insolence on the part of said society's guest. Pandering to and sugar-coating the anti-host attitudes promoted by any ungrateful visitor is a mortal sin on the part of the very powers that administer the welcoming society's day-to-day activities! Prioritise, accept and weed out accordingly - the alpha and omega of fair and effective governance.
12. If Baroness Thatcher did not dare energise her self-styled brand of face-saving brutality during her stint at #10 then the very same brutality would not have hesitated to re-invent itself in the most unprecedented gruesome forms in the not too distant future. We are hereby forever in her debt!
13. That treacherous old git Textspeak would be my first and foremost sodding convict awaiting execution if capital punishment were ever re-instated in Blighty.
14. The despicable act of 'chavving' about aimlessly must be wholeheartedly and unceremoniously stamped out if blessed human dignity is to ever flourish uninhibited again.
15. "There is no such thing as a worthless book though there are some far worse than worthless; no book that is not worth preserving, if its existence may be tolerated; as there may be some men whom it may be proper to hang, but none should be suffered to starve". How prophetic was Samuel Taylor Coleridge back in the day, my 'fellow Romans'? This quote should be as prominent as a neon sign in every classroom of today!
16. If you have never had an occasion to visit Porthcurno in West Cornwall you'd better book a bum on a seat at the Minack open-air theatre and live literally on the edge of a cliff overlooking the most scintillating turquoise watery carpet ever. No theatre could be better situated than this particular one, for all the tea in China!
17. If I were to be a character from any Rafael Sabatini novel I'd most probably be Scaramouche! I'd have to migrate to Captain Blood-land though and woo the deep and thoughtful Arabella. 'Trans-literarism' extraordinaire at work!
18. The decimalisation of our sacrosanct currency was, to put it in the simplest of terms, FUDGING, FUDGING WRONG!
19. Restore every Grammar school and heal this beautiful country's once most enviable... but present-day aggressively carcinogenic grass-roots education system for the wretched masses.
20. All in all, I prefer to strum away sarcastically into the flaming wilderness. Tame as I am!
21. "Slumdog Millionaire"'s sequeal will have to be entitled 'Poshbog Inflationaire' and will star the one-eyed Jock eejit Gorgon Medusa Brown-Sauce Age and Ali Baba Darling.
22. IF MY_COCKEREL.EQ.KIPPER THEN HER_VULVANO.GT.THRUSTATHON+THRUSTATHON+1
23. "Bah, bah shag-o-sheep, avya 'squeezy-fried' me neurotic Peter O'Toole" ought to be the opening line of the most light-hearted slapstick homophobic production ever delivered at The Theatre by the Lake in Keswick, Cumbria.
24. Barracuda Octopusama's successful journey to the White House robbed the political satire circuit of the opportunity to flourish as it was permitted to during the howl-a-minute years of Dubya the 'misunderestimated' official right smack on the tranquil 'Mexico-Canada' border.
25. "Play my flute with a sense of uncontrollable moderation", said Lordy Mandy to a Samba bender who in return gave the Knightsbridge Europhile the Garrincha (sic?) treatment.
When A Human Being's Life Is Truly Worthless It Usually Manifests Itself Through Perilous Boredom: No Mercy For Keatley And Carroll
by: Steven Ilchev, Staffordshire, 2009
************************************
How our society has happened to have reached this stage one cannot ever fathom! There was crime committed in bygone epochs but this type of senseless robbery of the full and enriching life of an affable pillar of the community beggars understanding beyond any cosmic boundaries.I, for one, refuse to analyse what it was that drove these totally devoid of redeeming qualities chavvy, never-having-contributed-a-ha'penny-to-society bogroll-fleshed fear-statues to commit such a heinous act on a decent archetypal family-orientated Englishman.
I point blank refuse to consider any mitigating circumstances that some do-gooders might expound or any conceivable forms of exasperating excuses such as excessive alcohol consumption or alleged poverty in the Dimbles area that apparently exacerbate a state of unhinged boredom. No exponent of the human race would ever resort to such a valour-deficient act under any given scenario.The fault lies with the inefficiency of our law enforcement brigade which is riddled with incomprehensible red tape. This somehow precipitates their manufactured tolerance levels (not necessarily of their own volition) for behaviour unfit even for the jungle-law microcosm of the survival of the fittest.
Our social security powers that be are also culpable for aiding the subsistence of these apparently bored to death individuals who epitomise the lifelong generational work-shy lowlife-pygmies that torment our communities countrywide. Vermin like this should not be housed, fed or financially supported in any way by the taxpayers' hard earned contributions. Had Keatley and Carroll been forced to starve like Congolese lice instead of being mollycoddled and afforded luxuries they certainly did not deserve, they might have been beautifully coerced to do the very hateful jobs that Mr. Muscle from beyond our frontiers loves and does for very little.The fact is, the Keatleys and Carrolls of this world see no reason to exert themselves since others can do it for them instead and their junk food and cheap alcohol are but assured. All that's left for them to do is wreak havoc and garner attention.
In the meantime, Lichfield - a glorious community in the Staffordshire heartland - is bereft of a man who illuminated many lives and never asked for much in return. How does one atone for all that? How does one alleviate the suffering of a good family? Blessed be the Eccles family and Lichfield as a whole!
************************************
How our society has happened to have reached this stage one cannot ever fathom! There was crime committed in bygone epochs but this type of senseless robbery of the full and enriching life of an affable pillar of the community beggars understanding beyond any cosmic boundaries.I, for one, refuse to analyse what it was that drove these totally devoid of redeeming qualities chavvy, never-having-contributed-a-ha'penny-to-society bogroll-fleshed fear-statues to commit such a heinous act on a decent archetypal family-orientated Englishman.
I point blank refuse to consider any mitigating circumstances that some do-gooders might expound or any conceivable forms of exasperating excuses such as excessive alcohol consumption or alleged poverty in the Dimbles area that apparently exacerbate a state of unhinged boredom. No exponent of the human race would ever resort to such a valour-deficient act under any given scenario.The fault lies with the inefficiency of our law enforcement brigade which is riddled with incomprehensible red tape. This somehow precipitates their manufactured tolerance levels (not necessarily of their own volition) for behaviour unfit even for the jungle-law microcosm of the survival of the fittest.
Our social security powers that be are also culpable for aiding the subsistence of these apparently bored to death individuals who epitomise the lifelong generational work-shy lowlife-pygmies that torment our communities countrywide. Vermin like this should not be housed, fed or financially supported in any way by the taxpayers' hard earned contributions. Had Keatley and Carroll been forced to starve like Congolese lice instead of being mollycoddled and afforded luxuries they certainly did not deserve, they might have been beautifully coerced to do the very hateful jobs that Mr. Muscle from beyond our frontiers loves and does for very little.The fact is, the Keatleys and Carrolls of this world see no reason to exert themselves since others can do it for them instead and their junk food and cheap alcohol are but assured. All that's left for them to do is wreak havoc and garner attention.
In the meantime, Lichfield - a glorious community in the Staffordshire heartland - is bereft of a man who illuminated many lives and never asked for much in return. How does one atone for all that? How does one alleviate the suffering of a good family? Blessed be the Eccles family and Lichfield as a whole!
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